Emergency Food for Mother Hubbard Moments - Garlic, Chilli and Parsley Spaghetti

BOSH! Hangover/hunger gone!

Strangely, I sometimes find myself cooking this when completely overwhelmed by too many recipe books bursting with exciting ideas. Sometimes it's all a bit much and you need things to straightforward, quick and easy, when you can count the ingredients on one hand, you know you can cope. It's also good for when the cupboards are pretty much bare. This makes an excellent lunch and has become a rather favourite hangover cure; the carb load combined with the heat of the chillis, a good slick of peppery olive oil and salty garlic tend to do the trick. It will also keep vampires away, but never mind.

Feeds two: Get a good hand-full of spaghetti (or half spag, half linguine as I used, in a proper Mother Hubbard moment) on the go in a pan of boiling water. Meanwhile, in a large frying pan or another saucepan (big enough to hold the pasta) gently heat about four tbsp of olive oil, if you have some tasty extra virgin then all the better. Yes, it's a lot of oil, but it's just this once and you'll want to drink it once it's all garlicky). GENTLY fry two or three finely chopped cloves of garlic and a big pinch of either dried chilli flakes or a finely chopped fresh red one. Do not burn them, if it gets a bit carried away, simply take the pan off the heat until things calm down, the idea is to take the raw edge off the garlic and infuse the oil. Just before the pasta is ready add a big handful of chopped flat leaf parsley and season liberally. Take off the heat. Drain the pasta and tip into the pan full of oily goodness and mix well. Top with a bit of grated Parmesan and enjoy an incredibly simple but delicious bowl of spaghetti.

Whoever said that parsley counteracts the effects of garlic on ones breath, I think, was incorrect, but you be the judge.

Spiced Yoghurty Lamb Chops

Get your chops round these chops

I made this for myself, an indulgent solo supper, after thinking about  lamb chops all day. Although the weather was freezing, and a nice steaming casserole might have been more appropriate to warm my cockles, the thought of pink, juicy chops, with  deliciously sinful crispy fatty bits clinging to the bones, was too much to bear, so I legged it home and made this, in a 'lets use up whatever is in the fridge' kind of supper. This is also amazing on the BBQ in warmer times.

Feeds one. Combine two big tbsp of natural yoghurt with a couple of chopped cloves of garlic, a tsp grated ginger, a tsp tomato puree, a tsp curry powder, salt and pepper and a squeeze of lemon. Slop this all over two fat lamb chops and let it marinade for an hour or so (or as long as it takes for your grill to get really hot, in my case, as I was too hungry to wait). Pop under the grill and cook for about 6 minutes on each side, depending on how thick the chops are and how pink you like your lamb. Serve with some buttery cous-cous mixed with chopped coriander and mint, and a squeeze of lime. 

Draw the curtains for privacy, and gnaw away on those bad boys to your hearts content, or at least until you have chewed off every last bit of meat. Just don't let anyone see, apparently the crazed starving carnivore look isn't hot.

Chunky Chilli (if this doesn't warm you up, nothing will)

Mince-free zone

As tasty as a bog standard chilli con carne made out of mince is, this monster of a meal will pulverise what you previously thought of as chilli into oblivion. Just like a proper ragu made from great hunks of meat, slow cooked until self-shredding is better than the quick mincey bol, this version of an old favourite is so blimmin wonderful that you'll wonder why you ever bought mince in the first place. Well, I hope you like it anyway. It's pretty cold right now, and I am existing on what can only be described as 'man food'. The Boyfriend is ecstatic and my belly is full and warm every evening. Salad: be gone, you have no purpose here.

Feeds 3/4 depending on gluttonous tendencies. Take a casserole dish/high sided pan and gently brown about 500g diced braising steak/skirt/ox cheek or any part of cow that likes to be slow cooked in a splash of olive oil. Sprinkle in a tbsp of chilli powder, tsp cumin, tsp paprika and a generous dousing of oregano, dried or fresh and extra chopped chilli if you want it. Mix it all up and add two tins of chopped tomatoes, season and bring to the boil. It should be quite soupy at this point so add some water if needed. Cover and simmer for 1.5 hours (if pushed for time just cut the beef into smaller pieces), take the lid off for the last 20 minutes to let it reduce, if it hasn't already. At this point add a drained tin of kidney beans. The meat is ready when Grandma can eat it without her dentures. If you have any of that wonderful 100% cacao chocolate, grate a bit over the top and stir in. Serve with either toasted tortillas or rice, sliced avocado, a generous squeeze of lime and chopped coriander.

Accompany with some red wine and a hot water bottle.

Big Fat Cheat's Apple Tart

Almost neat

How cool is shop bought puff pastry? So tiring it is, opening the packet and unrolling it out of it's weird blue blanket, I know, but bear with me, this recipe is awesome and super quick, and especially good for people like me who sometimes run out of puff when it comes to pudding. This can all be done in advance and left on the side (or precariously balanced on top of the drying up pile on the draining board) until 20 minutes before it is required, perfect. Based on a Nigella recipe from Nigella Express. I'm posting it because although it's incredibly easy, it took me a year to try it, and once I had done it once, I've wopped it out several times with no stress and lots of success.

Ice-cream isn't an option

Feeds 6. Core 4 apples (don't peel, the skin looks pretty). Cut in half and place in a bowl with a big squeeze of lemon juice in it to stop them apples going brown. Pre-heat oven to 180c. Unroll one sheet of (gasp) shop bought puff pastry and score it (lightly, don't cut through) an inch from the edge, all around, so you have a border. Sprinkle the pastry with a big tbsp sugar and slice the apples as thinly as you can. Now neatly lay the apples on the pastry as pictured above. Not used to being so precise but it's quite fun and satisfying. Just before you put it in the oven (if you've made it in advance, do wait for this bit), melt a knob of butter with a tablespoon of sugar, once bubbling and dissolved, carefully pour over the apples. Bake for 20 minutes, or until the pastry is golden brown.

It's great hot but also good cold. Just make sure you eat it with ice-cream.

Nasi Goreng - Breakfast/Lunch/Brunch of Kings

So often at the weekend we wake up, eventually pull ourselves out of bed, and by the time we've showered and made ourselves presentable for the day it's that weird in-between meal time, kind of too late for breakfast, but then do you wait and have lunch in half an hour? NO! You have brunch of course. Nasi Goreng is a brilliant dish to whip up on such an occasion, I had it for the first time in Bali, where it hails from (we ate it every day for 7 days in a row, sometimes having two orders of it, it was that good). It's a bit like an egg fried rice thing, the genius of the dish is that it uses up left overs, I had planned to use left-over rice from the Chinese feast from the night before, but had somehow contaminated it with god knows what in the chaos of the party, it was probably gin. Anyway, this meal is very quick and fills you up perfectly until you get to the in-between lunch and supper bit. My food-clock gets properly messed up at the weekend but isn't that an excuse to eat all day?! The following recipe is admittedly a bit of a bastardisation, and will never be as good as pool-side in Bali, but it's pretty good when starving at 11.30 on a Sunday morning in Surbiton.

Feeds two. Gently fry a chopped onion with some garlic in a large frying pan or wok. An optional meaty addition is chopped pancetta/bacon which you should add at this point if using. Once this softens a bit add a finely chopped carrot and some finely sliced Chinese cabbage (or whatever veg you have loitering in the fridge), stir fry for a few minutes and then mix in a squirt of tomato ketchup (seriously), a tbsp soy sauce and chilli sambal to taste (I didn't have any but used my new discovery and best friend chilli bean paste). Once combined, throw in a couple of big handfuls of cold, cooked rice. Now keep stir frying until piping hot throughout and the rice has taken on the colour of the sauces. When nearly ready fry a couple of eggs in another frying pan, dish up the rice, top with an egg each and scatter a bit of chopped coriander over the top.

Dig in and kiss your hangover goodbye.

Cullen Skink (NOT Cullen Skank) Pies with Mash Tops

Dive in and say mmmmmm

How lush is smoked haddock? Even people who aren't that keen on regular fish, complaining that it's too 'fishy', often succumb to the gentle smokey saltiness of a decent piece of smoked haddock. I once made a bit of a fool of myself at a fish counter, asking if they had any un-dyed specimens, turning my nose up at the artificial neon yellow ones on display. "Madam, it's only turmeric that colours them you know..." Oh alright then. Whoops. Anyway, I for one find it very comforting, it goes well with gentle stodge, rice in kedgeree for example and mashed potatoes in this recipe which is basically a fish pie, but only with smoked haddock, in a velvety creamy white wine sauce, spiked with chopped chives to add a little interest. Cullen skink is a traditional Scottish soup; here it is thickened up and a roof of mash turns it into a pie. Of sorts.

Serves 4. Preheat the oven to 200c. Peel two large potatoes, cut into chunks and boil until tender, then drain. Poach approx. 600g smoked haddock fillet (if skinless then cut into chunks before poaching, if not poach as it is and peel the skin off after cooking, it's very easy) in a deep frying pan by pouring over enough milk to cover it and a few bay leaves and peppercorns thrown in for aromatic goodness. Cover and bring the milk to a simmer, let it bubble for 4 minutes then turn off the heat and leave to cool for a bit. If the haddock is skinless and in chunks, remove from the pan with a slotted spoon and set aside, reserving the milk (discard bay leaves and peppercorns), and if it has skin, remove with a slotted spoon and peel the skin off and gently flake. Feel for bones as you do this to save anyone having a nice choke at the dinner table. Make a roux by melting a decent chunk of butter in a small pan, into this briskly stir in a heaped tablespoon of plain flour. Keep stirring and gradually incorporate a splash of white wine and most of the reserved milk. Keep stirring on the heat until thickened. Season, stir in a hand full of chopped chives and gently fold in the fish. Mash the spuds with plenty of seasoning, a knob of butter and a splash of milk. Spoon the fish mixture into 4 individual pie dishes or one big one, allowing enough milky wine to make it saucy, but not so much that the haddock is swimming again. Top with mash, a light dusting of paprika (mostly to make it a bit pretty) and a little bit of grated cheese if you wish. Serve with plenty of greens.

I would recommend you eat this not too far from bed as it is as comforting as a bed time story multiplied by hot water bottles and cocoa.

Best Carrots Ever

Shiny carrots...mmm

The Sunday Roast completes the week. That nagging 'eurgh it's Monday tomorrow' feeling is gently pushed aside by a bottle of wine on the table, a great steaming joint of something meaty, and THE SAME OLD BORING VEG! I love veg but I can get stuck in a rut. The ex-boyfriend of a 12 year relationship is now, thank effing Christ, the Boyfriend, once again. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and even better, I could ring his Mum to ask how exactly she cooks her carrots that made them so tasty, without any awkward moments. Every cloud...

All you do, for the most delicious carrots, perfect for the Sunday roast is: peel and slice your carrots and place in a small saucepan on high heat. Lob a knob of butter in and only just cover with already boiling water and season. Bubble away furiously until the water has evaporated and you are left with perfectly cooked carrots, slicked with a glistening lick of butter. You will never throw carrots into a vat of boiling water again. To accompany a roast chook, throw a little chopped tarragon in too.

I also went a bit mental and roasted celariac with the potatoes this sunday, and FYI, that was good too.